When It Happens
I have come a long way. A long, long way since I first bumped across the best relationship direction providers out there.
The first step ranged from recognizing the marriage I was in was not part of the “better or worse” promise I made, to recovering from childhood abuse.
My ex-husband hates you guys!
More steps. Finding the courage to get a divorce…recovering from the breakup of a special relationship that could never have worked…saying yes to a proposal out of being tired of waiting…and backing out from all of these soon enough to not cause too much damage.
Also. Loving my children, not disarming them with their niceness, teaching them to stand up for themselves and telling them that putting up with blatant wrong was never the “nice” thing to do.
And I found and lived my life to the fullest even when the relationship/marriage I waited for all my life was not happening.
Fast forward to the most beautiful period of my entire life, the kind I would wish for my children. I met this man at a stage where, guided through three direct answers and through the answers you had for others, I knew I was not going to settle for anything but real.
It took nearly eight years from the time I decided to end my terrible marriage. Today, Wayne and Tamara, I am the most content soul. I found him halfway around the world and that, too, online. I refused to follow anybody's rules, any books, but did what felt right and natural.
Coincidentally, he will say to everybody that the highlight of our relationship is that it simply felt natural from the beginning. We simply feel we belong to each other and there has never been any pretense from either of us.
We will soon be married, but it’s not about finding someone to marry. There were many along the way who proposed, but I refused to accept anything but the person who felt like my man.
I did wonder for years why I was unlucky. Putting modesty aside, I have learnt to see that I am told by many I am good-looking, intelligent, with a heart full of empathy, saving souls and lives secretly.
Giving away the little time I had to help strangers even, I am a rather non-judgmental, humanitarian, secular individual and an entrepreneur. I have high standards of morality and never ventured into the casual dating
world. Yet, I was single.
I am so glad I didn't settle. He and I are other halves, without each other now we cannot comprehend being with anybody else. We both agree we are in gratitude not only for the patience we had to find each other, but in gratitude that his spouse cheated and that mine was an abuser. For we would not have met each other had this not happened.
Wayne and Tamara, you have touched so many lives, many of whom may never have reached out to you, but you are more than doing your bit in building truer marriages, real homes and stronger citizens. We in turn try and pass your message around, and I am sure a few lives I have touched have opened their eyes from the learning and direction you provide.
To be with him has meant wrapping up a dream business that just started to pay off and leaving the country I was born in.
Yet both of us didn't for a moment hesitate. Naysayers around us think we are mad. For once I don't see the need to convince anyone. His and my true friends just know that we are right and only asked the right questions.
Thanks, Wayne and Tamara. I owe this life to you. I have been your distant daughter.
Audrey, thank you. You give us too much credit and yourself too little, but thank you.
~ Wayne & Tamara
Column for the week of June 29, 2015
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