Direct Answers – Fishing in a Teacup

I'm a high school student at a small private school. And when I say small I mean like 21 people in my grade! Out of the 21 people, only six of them are guys! Out of the six guys, only one of them kind of has my heart.

He's tall, sweet, cute and one of the most genuinely nice guys you'll ever meet. But here's when the twist comes. He has a girlfriend. She is one of the bitchiest bitches you'll ever meet. She cheats on him with his friends and is so fake.

To him, she's a nice cool girl. To everyone else, she's a bitch. So rewind a little bit. Last week was homecoming, and I was nominated for homecoming court by my class. I hate being the center of attention, so the only thing that kept me going was the fact he might be on the court with me.

Unfortunately he wasn't, but I guess I had fun anyway.

Fast forward to the dance and it was magical. It was decorated beautifully and was the perfect night. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, the last slow song came on and he asked me to dance!

I honestly could not believe it, but it was better than anything I could have imagined. We were both so nervous, but I really felt a connection—the most perfect four minutes of my life. But the next week, I came back to school and all he seemingly has eyes for is the girl who will break his heart.

What should I do?

~ Denise

Denise, in musical chairs, there is always one more player than the number of chairs. Your class is like a much rougher version of that game. There are more than twice as many players as the number of chairs.

In a game like that, you shouldn't be surprised when elbows are thrown and feet stepped on. Considering the odds, you might as well be in an all-girls school!

When people talk about relationships, they often mention that some women are attracted to bad boys. What they seldom mention is that some men are attracted to crazy girls. Perhaps this boy doesn't know what his girlfriend is like. It's more likely, however, that he knows and finds it attractive.

But even if he doesn't know, there's something you have to recognize, and the sooner the better. People get to be who they are, and we have little power to change them. He gets to be who he is, and for better or for worse, she gets to be who she is.

That's good because it means you get to be who you are. You get to act on your own dreams, aspirations and plans. That fits with the purpose of your schooling: to get an education, make friends, and plan for college and the future.

In a small school, you have little freedom to find the perfect boy for you. With only six to choose from, he looks good compared to the other five. But in a much larger school, all you might know about him is his name.

Don't let this momentary setback discombobulate you. With the odds stacked against you, all you can do is play the long game. Now you are living in a fishbowl. One day things will be different. You'll be swimming in the ocean of possibilities.

~ Wayne & Tamara

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