I suppose I am writing because I need advice…more advice than my friends have offered…or just better advice than my friends have offered.
Sometime in late November I ran into an acquaintance on campus and he offered me a ride home from class. Instead we went for lunch and by the end of lunch he asked me out to a movie and dinner that night.
We got to know each other very quickly, and although it was out of the blue, I quickly learned that I enjoyed his company tremendously. We spent all our time together for the following two weeks.
I hate to sound cliché and say we just clicked, but the truth is, we did. I've never clicked with anyone that quickly, and I've had my share of boyfriends. We quickly became romantic and were seemingly very into each other.
After two weeks something changed in his attitude toward me and I confronted him. We had a very open talk about how we both became comfortable with each other very quickly. He confessed he had just broken up with someone and was not completely over her.
We decided we would start over, be friends and see if it took us back to each other. He seemed genuine when he said he still wanted to hang out. I was upset about everything but I figured we still had a chance. I have only seen or heard from him once since, on his birthday, when I dropped off a card.
It has been three weeks. I was upset initially but lately feel I've gotten over him. At this point I just want to be friends, perhaps with the hope maybe something will rekindle. I miss his company.
Should I go out on a limb and call him before school starts? Is there any way I can get him back in my life in any way?
Ashley, you thought you clicked. The click you thought you heard was like finding the other shoe of a pair. But was it really that?
You didn't know him. You talked about everything but he didn't tell you about the girlfriend he just broke up with. In a breakup, when you don't really know the other person, you are not likely to get an honest explanation why. Often what is said by the one breaking away is said simply so they can break away.
What story have you told us? The story of Cinderella, with a twist. The prince slipped the shoe on my foot and it was a perfect fit. After a couple of weeks he pulled it off and went looking for another Cinderella.
After two magical weeks Prince Charming would not pull the slipper off Cinderella's foot. The magic was mostly on your end. After a one night stand, a two week whirlwind romance, or a yearlong relationship, when a guy says "let's be friends," the relationship is over.
Things happened too quickly with a man you didn't really know, though you are reluctant to admit you didn't really know him. Why? Because, "I might not have done what I did had I known more."
When a guy walks away from you, you have to be strong enough to walk away from him. Cinderella didn't chase Prince Charming around saying, "Try it on again! Try it on again!" That's what the mean stepsisters did.
~ Wayne & Tamara
Direct Answers for the week of January 16, 2017
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