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Direct Answers – Food for The Soul

There’s this guy in my college I really like. We have two classes together and began talking. He’s gorgeous. At times I wonder if it’s merely lust we share.

Anyway, I started a conversation with no intention of dating him. He seemed a jock type, nicely built and good looking, and I assumed he had a girlfriend. Through our conversations I learned he didn’t. He grew on me.

He suggested hanging out and we did. He didn’t know where to go or when, so I picked all of it. We grabbed coffee (he paid) and we talked. Several times he told me he was nervous, and I being the same way, didn’t know how to comfort him.

After the date I thought I blew it. He texted, then stopped, though we continued to talk in class. He offered again to hang out, but we can never find a day that works. He’s great to talk to in person but a terrible texter. Even though he responds in five minutes or so, it’s boring to text him.

We haven’t passed the touch barrier because I’m too nervous to do so. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I feel like I’m chasing him, but I don’t know. Is he shy? Does he like me, or am I making things up? Is this lust or love?

~ Jordan

Jordan, the first thing that eats food is the eye. Only later, when we taste with our tongue, do we discover if a dish is truly appetizing.

This man passed the eye test and has you wondering if it’s lust or love. It’s neither. We come together first out of loneliness, looking for another to complete us.

You have him in two classes. That’s good. You get to see him in his normal state, not dressed up like he’s going out clubbing. But lots of people seem nice until you get to know them. You talk and they talk, then they say something which makes you think, “It would be okay with me if you just dropped off the planet.”

They are like the “food” in food photography. The ice cream is mashed potatoes, the dusky look on grapes comes from talcum powder, and the roast glistens with…motor oil.

Visual clues can mislead us. You meet 10 guys. Two are visually appealing, but after you get to know them you find four are appealing as a person.

You haven’t had a boyfriend before. Perhaps your school was too small or your parents didn’t allow you to date or you were focused on the future. So you are dealing with that. You both are a little shy and need a place to begin. You can be each other’s place to begin.

Get to know him more. Ask him questions, let him ask you questions. Answer them. You don’t know what hardships or accidents or trials have formed him. You don’t know who he is. You don’t know if he is good for you or not good for you.

All you can do is be honest. “This is new to me. I’m nervous. I’d like to get to know you.” And don’t let anything happen that is beyond what you want to happen.

Turn your feelings about him into knowledge. The first thing that eats food is the eye, but the real test is in the tasting.

~ Wayne & Tamara

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